Rants & Revolutions Issue 0×000002
November 27, 2008
Well guys, it’s that time of.. whatever.. again, ANOTHER MOTHER FUCKING RANTS AND REVOLUTIONS!
Anywho, shall we?
Grammar Nazi-ism in an arguement
This is one of my all time worst [Best?] pet peeves.. When I am in an arguement with someone, and I _know_ that I have won, but, I forgot to capitalize and punctuate my sentences correctly, what does the person I am arguing with do? Goes through my post fixing all my grammar errors, like it makes them better than me!
Okay, listen up, correcting grammatical errors is not going to let you win the argument, it just makes you look like a douche bag, not everyone has the time to fix EVERY. DAMN. TYPO. in their posts, especially if it’s half a page long pertaining to whale’s and how the have sex. Instead of trying to make me look like a ‘tard, which you fail at doing, why not come up with a counter-argument to my post. Or at least a worth-while insult?
Kids these days
I fucking hate kids these days. They are whiny little brats, who turn emo when they can’t go to a party or miss a concert, saying it’s the most horrible shit in the world to ever happen to someone.
Firstly, to the kids, Shut the fuck up, you don’t know horrible, and you never will, with your cushy lifestyle of always-getting-everything-that-you-want-or-you-will-kill-yourself. Today, thousands of kids are starving in other countries, wars are being fought, and some people have never even seen the internet *gasp*.
And, if you are having real-life troubles, don’t bring them onto the internet, for, I can smell a bitch from twenty IP addresses away, I will track you’re whiny blog post down and I will eviscerate it, and then you.
Now, to the parents, smack those fucking kids, don’t “ground” them or take away something that is obviously meaningless in the big pictures. Beat the shit out of them, just don’t leave bruises. It will teach them respect and how to behave. You don’t see any adults now-a-days going “Woe is me, I lost twenty bucks on craps, I am going to kill myself.” It was because their parents beat them. It made them strong, and when the kids of today grow up, they will further weak our economy/society, with their pathetic whiny bullshit.
Or at least encourage them to kill themselves so that won’t happen?
Religion
Okay, recently the topic of religion has come up in my country, mainly people bitching about Obama being Muslim. Dear fellow Americans, the President of the United States of America does not have to be Christian, does not even have to have a religion, and probably shouldn’t. There is a fucking reason we have separation of church and state, and it’s so bitchy christian conservatives won’t come into our country and force everyone to be a Christian, or condemn other religions for the same fact. Everyone is allowed to worship whatever god they want, and if Obama is a Muslim, then so be it, he can worship him all he wants, as long as he doesn’t force it onto the citizens.
and finally, the Revolutions part: I am putting Previous Projects on a semi-permanent hiatus, and I am working of something a little more clearly thought out, and something more likely to cause monetary gain for people involved. An international crime organization, involved in both digital, and real-life, crimes, ranging from Fraud, Identity Theft, to Selling Drugs, and Robbery. I will post more as it comes into fruitation.
See ya when the sun dies,
Zak
Bicentennial Update: 1958-2008
November 23, 2008
Well, I haven’t been here for a while, but what more can I say than that?*
I’ve been gaming.
Oh, and, ARTH4X BLOG IS NOW OFFICIALLY OPEN.
Go and check it out. Updates weekly!
kthx.
-The Mighty Zeppelin
* Apart from the fact that I’m still alive, of course.
Oi.
October 26, 2008
A’ight guys, on a tandem here.. Do you hate being told what to do? Wow! Me too. [Pressuming your answer is yes.] So, the next time you are doing something, and are too goddamn lazy to do it yourself, and feel like telling someone else to do it.. Think about the rage you are building up inside of them.. Think about it..
[-//End Prelude-]
Cyberpunk isn’t dead, but, it’s dying
“So, you into those shiny machines? Yeah, me too. I loved “I, Robot”. It’s so.. futuristic.”
Ever ran into someone like that? And wanted to throttle them as much as I do? If yes, you will understand what I am typing.
Kids these days.. and most un-educated adults, feel like the future is a set point in time, that the actions are already laid out for us, and we just have to follow them.
While “I, Robot” is indeed possible, to label it as futurisitc is like saying “Wow, that guy died.. It’s so.. futuristic.” It’s a possibility, but, for it to happen with 100% certainty in the future, is nihil..
You _could_ say “It’s so.. possibilistic”? But, then again.. I suppose people are lazy..
Oh, and when the future comes, in whatever form it is laid out for us.. won’t Cyberpunk be offically dead? Since, it’ll be.. Presentpunk or some-shit?
My answer is “No.”
My long answer is “No, because, it is always possible to build off of current technology, make it better. And the bounds of the human imagination are only what said human sets them to.”
So, kiddies, learn from this.. Be a brilliant scientist and mold the future to what you see fit, even if it’s robot’s in every household.
[-//End Cyberpunk-]
Thoughts..
How do we know that computers aren’t already sentient? We just control the mice/keyboard because they haven’t yet figured that out.. They are trying to talk to us, with the only medium they know.. packets.. and since we can’t understand them, we think they can’t think.. They could be plotting our demise right now.. as soon as we give them legs and arms..
[-//Thoughts-]
Society? Pfft.
How many times have you gotten in trouble/picked on for doing things that “society says isn’t normal”? Who the fuck is society if it doesn’t include me, and everyone else who does these things? Is it some grand counsel that sits on a throne with large, arial type-face signs that say “Society says: Thou shalt not pick thine nose in public.” Well, I got news for you, society. I don’t care. I am going to break and bend those rules, and encourage others to do the same. If we aren’t pressing the boundries that enclose us, then we are no better than the sheep in a fence, grazing and sleeping in their own shit.. So, please, pick your nose in public, so those fools that it’s cool.
[-//Society-]
Pros and Cons of Weed Legalization
Okay, a sensitive topic. Here are some things that each side should think about, and why it might not be such a good idea.
Pros.
1. Not getting arrested for smoking.
That’s a big plus, it cuts down on the stress that law-enforcement have to deal with, and allows them to talk harder drugs.
2. Easier to purchase.
Now you can go down to the “Sheeps-R-Us” and buy a 20-count pack of weedarettes, with the weed of your choice. How easy!
Cons.
1. Taxes!
With the sale of weed, comes the ever important sales tax, so, now that dimebag you were buying for $10, is now inflated and altered to $14.99 plus Tax! Great, now I have to pay more for my bud. Fuck you, America.
2. Theft.
Not just big stores, but, little people will have an increased risk of getting their bud stolen. Since, instead of it being a felony for possessing weed, it’ll be just a simple theft charge, maybe a fine and probation for first time offenders.
Conclusion
So, if you are willing to take risks, and spend a little more, I say attempt to get weed legalized.
[-//Weed-]
Any of the shit here is what I think in my head and may not be exactly what you think, if you disagree with or just want to talk about something, and wish to do so in a civil manner, please post a comment.
Until next time,
Au Revoir,
Your Friendly-Neighbourhood Psycho
P.S.: I can’t be fucked to find every typo, if you find one, post a comment, for fucks sake.
Rants and Revolutions.
September 12, 2008
Okay guys, Zak here, living life and whatnot. Judging by the title you want Revolutions first, but, rants need to go first, so..
Rants:
1) What is Racism and What is not.
Okay, this is to those that think the term Nigger is racist.. It’s not. Nigger is used in todays society, for the most part, to indicate someone, not neccesarily black, that dress like a gangster, slurs their speech, and acts like a general buffoon. You may see more and more of the White Niggers (Wiggers) today than Black ones, because it’s a social trend, using the term Nigger in that form, is 100% not racist, using it in reference to all black men is. So, if I call someone a nigger, they generally deserve the term, not because they are black, but, because they are morons!
2) I hate <insert social site here>
Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Zak, hate is a strong word, you can’t possible hate a social site, you are on several and even blogging is social now-a-days”. Wrong, Jackass, sites like wordpress, etcetera, don’t have people HORDING friends, glossing up their page so much that it freezes your browser, and just making themselves seem retarded.. And to the point of me on “social sites”, I am not there to be your friend, nor do I gloss my page up, it’s there to keep in contact with people I actually know and as a tool [1]. Nothing more, nothing less.
3) Creationism Vs. Intelligent Design && Republic Vs. Democrat
I see a shit load of these arguments on sites today, and it makes me want to kill lots of people, I’ll address this in list format.
a) evolutionism Vs. Intelligent Design:
This is one of the ones that make me facepalm, there are clear components of both intelligent design AND evolution, so, why not have both, an intelligent being that made us to evolve, simple, to the point, and makes people shut the fuck up. I don’t care what you believe in, but, arguing about it on digg, redditt, random forum, is like arguing with a brick wall. Now..
i) To the Evolutionists: Being on a “fringe science”, you have no right to argue with anyone, you have VERY LITTLE facts, and it makes you seem like a prick, don’t let people bait you into an argument, with no proof to back it up.
ii) To the Creationists: Being a “part of a religion”, you have no right to argue with anyone, you have VERY LITTLE facts, and it makes you seem like a prick, don’t let people bait you into an argument, with no proof to back it up.
b) Republic Vs. Democrat: This is a touchy subject, but, I’ll go on.. STOP FUCKING ARGUING ABOUT WHO IS BETTER/RIGHT. For all I care you can be a Far-Right Republican or a Far-Left Democrat, if you are not changing society for the betterment of all, AND CAN PROVE IT, then just shut the fuck up. And, truthfully, just be quite in general, noone cares who you are voting for, nor how much you want to suck <presidental canadite here>, the fact remains that both sides have strong and weak points, and it’s like trying to kill eachother with a tissue and some lint stuck to said tissue is me. It annoys the fuck out of me and makes me want to eat your face and any children you may have.
i) To the Republicans: You may have some fair arguments, but, the fact remains that you still can do better, we don’t care about your stance on <insert controversial thing here> because it’s most likely going to make you retarded, shut up.
ii) To the Democrats: You may have some fair arguments, but, the fact remains that you still can do better, we don’t care about your stance on <insert controversial thing here> because it’s most likely going to make you retarded, shut up.
4) To people who have morals: Welcome to the internet, now, seriously, noone cares, morals do not exist on the internet, and cuss words (Fuck, Cunt, Bitch, Dick, Ass, Shit, Nigger, Spic, and Wuggledorf) will always exist, and there will be someone saying them on the “Hello Kitty and the Rainbow Pony Message Board and Eye Gouge Spa.” If you don’t like it, get off the internet, write a 20 page essay about how your a demeaned by those words, and mail them to “PO BOX 666, Don’t Give A Fuck, Internet, 13370″, they will deal with it there.
Revolutions:
Okay, you guys have been waiting for me to announce this “big project” that I have going on, but, truthfully, it’s not finished, although I can give you a name: Project Discord [2] and the main goal of it, To cause Discord (See Chaos). It’s nearing it’s final stages, with just a few more tweaks, and then I will release it to my friends, from there we will see where it goes. and now some PD art.
Just a note: This is the OFFICAL site of Project Discrodia, news post will be made here until otherwise stated.
[1] See: Identity Theft and Music
[2] A Subset of Subversive Thought Society : Domain Pending.
Back in black
September 3, 2008
So, I’m finally back from Greece
Ever so slightly pissed that Kane, Zak or Ayman didn’t update whilst I was away, but whatever. No big deal, eh what?
England’s never been so wet. It’s been raining constantly* since my flight landed at BHX on Monday night.
Those who know me well will realise, for me, this is more a good thing than not as I am a fan of the rain!
I was going to write a detailed and boring-as-fuck word-for-word blog of my events in Greece, but I really can’t be fucked. A video/photo montage will suffice some time in the near future.
For now, though, a meme – courtesy of my big sister Mary-T! Make sure you give her gallery a visit.
..onward!:
I’d have to pick between them — but most definately. These guys are gold.
What did you do this afternoon?
It’s only just hit 11am, so I’m stumped for another hour or so.
When was the last time you smiled?
Is this a serious question?
Can you use chopsticks?
Sometimes. Otherwise I just mess about with them and they end up falling in my food or something. Can has knife and fork?
Who was the last person you slept next to?
No idea. Ayman fell asleep next to me a few weeks ago, though. You lightweight!
What do you order from taco bell?
A THOUSAND KING-SIZE TACOS. For other people, of course
Do you talk to the person you fell hardest for?
Of course
Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
Much like I am now, except shorter and less thuggish. More witty and romantic and all the good traits I seem to have lost over the past twelve months
Do you have unlimited texting?
Used to when I had a mobile contract. Prank calling was oh so moxious
Ever cried because of happiness?
A few times
Anything you’re giving up on?
Myself? –bricked–
Whose pool did you last swim in?
The hotel in Greece. Pretty small pool, but fun nonetheless
Are you planning on throwing a party this summer?
As in ‘this summer’ you mean next summer? Of course, I finish school. No promise that anyone’ll turn up though. Fuck the prom, also
Which girl’s house was the last you spent the night at?
Hmm.. My ex-girlfriend’s house, about eighteen months back?
What makes you laugh?
Dark comedy, mostly. Pulp Fiction, Lock Stock and the likes. Of course, anything containing Pythons on top of that.
How was last week?
Very hot and slow
What could you go for right this second?
A few more weeks of summer holidays and a chance to catch up with some people I’ve not conversed with for a while
What are your plans for the morning?
Only fifty minutes of it left. Unless Ayman comes off SL or somebody comes online, I’m back on SAMP
Do you ever turn off your cellphone?
Hardly. Nobody calls me, I just leave it on for it to remind me of stuff
Do you like certain romantic cliches?
Is the pope Catholic?
Where is are your best friends at this exact moment?
Kane’s in bed or at work, Zak’s in bed, Ayman’s playing SL… in bed, JD could be dead for all I know, no idea where Shona is and Mary’s probably asleep
Do you have a ceiling fan located in your room?
In the computer room, yeah. And no, it’s not on, because it’s 15 celsius in my house at the moment
What is the worst thing that has happened to you lately?
I died inside, bawww, et cetera.
What color is your car?
Invisible paint amiright
What sounds are you currently hearing?
The PC tower clicking and whirring along with the soft background tick of the wallclock
Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Nyet
Do you miss anyone?
Being as blunt as possible, yes.
Are you growing apart from someone close?
I don’t know if it’s ‘growing apart’ or what, but it certainly seems like we’re drifiting away from each other in different ways.
Where was your default pic taken?
What?
How much are you on the phone daily?
Never
Are you in a good mood?
Could be better. Undecidedly average, da
Have you ever been in love?
Da. Difficult shit to maintain
Do you love your life?
No?
Who do you trust with EVERYTHING?
A few people. You know who you are
What will you be doing in 3 hours?
Probably on SAMP still. ugh, slow day.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
Reading the Concise Encylopedia of Technology and Science.
What is your background on your phone?
Rubles, one half of my deadly feline duo
Where is your favorite place to shop?
Waterstones. A menagerie of encylopedias, science-fiction novels and manga under one roof for damn good prices… that, and they have a coffee bar upstairs
What is your favorite thing to wear?
Cargo pants, my favourite shirt and a Ché tee, most probably. Working on the trilby, though
Do you think you are a good driver?
irl? Fuck no. The road scares me
Could you go a day without eating?
Done it. Not recommended, haha
Who was the last person you talked to on the telephone?
My brother
Were you happy when you woke up today?
Not particularly. I’m only a morning person in certain circumstances. The possibility of getting up for the first day of school wasn’t really something to cheer about
Are you ticklish?
mhm
First thing you do when you wake up?
Use the PC, grab some breakfast and drink some coffee
What’s on your bedroom floor right now?
Everything.
Ever talked to someone that was drunk?
Haha, yes. It’s hilarious. Learn to handle your drink, chaps
Do you trust people easily?
Fuck no.
Do any of your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
If they did, I’d chuck them. The ripped jeans look is fucking ridiculous
How many pillows on your bed?
2
Are you single?
Yup
* – Apart from ten or so minutes yesterday
ARTY MCARTART and whatnots
August 4, 2008
Soo.. I have been bored and decided to make some animooted gifs for me and my comrades, names are self-explanatory, no need to thank me, etc etc
Mandatory Self-Gif
Next:
I hate corporations, hence why I am working on a sekrit pr0j3kt designed to destroy them from the inside out, more info to come.
On ‘Vitaly’ and tech shix
August 3, 2008
/me blows dust off the journal
Wow, it’s sure been a while since I’ve posted here, or anywhere for that matter. How are you, ladies and gentlemen.
Not much art coming this way, ehwhat?
…anyway…
To explain the title:
Ayman just gave me his old laptop: [Soviet insignia on the hood included] an LG… something. To be honest, I didn’t bother to check. I’m cool with it, either way. It’s a laptop with 512MB of DDR RAM and pretty powerful CPU and GPUs.
It only made sense to christen it the Commietop 5000
…though as soon as I got to work with it, my plans to wirelessly control a range of computers across the world and make them do my bidding… ran headlong into a brick wall.
To put it simply, [there's no other way to put it. The poor thing's on life support as me and Ayman don't know what the hell's wrong with it] it craps out alot
Apparently I installed Ubuntu 8 successfully the other night, complete with ‘Your system is now installed. Please restart your computer’ prompt.
[NOTE: I'm not running my OS off an inbuilt hard-drive, but a 6GB Apple iPod via. USB]
I did so.
Whilst it was closing down to reboot, it suddenly shut off!
I turn it back on and it loads the Ubuntu menu prompt, as it does when you leave the disc in.
I take the disc out and restart:
<No operating system detected>
Okay. Could just be a malfunction.
I unplug the iPod from the USB, shut the laptop off and try it again.
<No operating system detected>
I shut the laptop off once more and leave it. It’s getting late and I’m tired. So I try the next night:
<Loading GRUB>
<GRUB loaded>
<Error 15>
…
So I try again. Same thing.
I try to install it on the iPod again after checking the install disc for defects
No defects on the install disc. What’s going on here?
It tells me the iPod has partitioned itself into two parts
I try to manual install to the iPod and it starts
After about an hour of patiently waiting for the laptop to stop burning a hole through my bedsheets:
<Installing system: 72%>
** system suddenly shuts off **
I have no idea if that much detail was needed for the solution to my problem to be found, but nevertheless.
It’s been a while since I’ve dabbled in computer hardware [laptops not included] and I really don’t want to fork over £9,000 to get it fixed.
For anyone willing to offer free advice, here’s a rundown:
- Laptop has no battery
- Runs off mains charger
- Laptop has no internal hard-disk
- Apple iPod 6GB substitutes hard-disk
- It dies randomly
So there we have it. A rundown of ‘Vitaly’, the newest machine in my aptly-named collection of computers.
One day I really must introduce it to ‘Hiro’ and ‘Case’.
Anyway, good day!
For those who still have summer left, enjoy it
For those who are coming to the Mother of All LAN Parties, I’ll see you at my place near enough 1900hrs tomorrow. You know who you are!
Oh, and thanks Ayman!
/me grins
Keep on rocking you ridiculous bastard!
~Peace!
Oh, and yes. I did delete everything on my DeviantArt on a whim. Oh well
Another Guest Post to Keep the Blood Flowing
August 1, 2008
So, having just awaken, I decide to stalk Mr. W. And see that he hasn’t updated this blog in ages, hence where I come in. and, I guess all I am in the mood to do is rant.
and it’ll be in easy-browse-through format
1) Ignorant Internet-Tough-Guys This is directed at you. Why? You are not tough, you cannot beat someone up over the internet, and by picking out a fight over the tubes, you are, in effect, making yourself seem both horribly idiotic, and look like a douche. I swear, there needs to be a new medical disease called “Looklikeadouche Syndrome” because, believe me, a lot of people have it. Why not take your empty threats, and write them into an angst filed blog post, or.. ya know.. kill yourself, to prevent you disease from spreading to your kids.
2) Massive Corporations Congrats on the whole, being rich thing. But, aside from that, shut the hell up! We do not need your fucking ads on everything, especially if it’s for shit we DO NOT NEED. I fucking swear if I have to watch 3 commericals in a row, all about god-damn shampoo, from three different companies, that all do the same damn thing, and all claim to be “THE BEST”, I will end up giving GW a banana and tell him to nuke ourselves, because we are just to goddamn retarded. Which brings me to my next rant.
3) Materialists Hey, you fuckers out there that buy everything you want, have OVER 9000 cars, lots of hot women and a 9e9 story house? You are fucking retarded. You sit in your damn house, wondering what to buy next, where you could be funding cures for AIDs, and maybe potentially, having your name written all over the cure, wouldn’t that make your e-penis quite large? Stop buying shit, seriously, if you stop buying and give to charity all your money that you don’t need, it would, in effect, stabilize the economy, all why helping the poor guys.
4) Music Fascists We know you like pop music, we see you with your trendy womans jeans and scene-girl hair, even though you are a 47 year old man. But, god forbid we like music you don’t!! “That band totally sucks” You spout constantly about every band that I could possibly like, in your little-girl-lisp. Hey! Fuck you! Just because I am not a narrow-minded douche who adheres to one form of music, does not mean that I cannot grasp the fact of what music is, or is not, good. What is good to me may not be good to you, so stuff it in your fucking loose ass.
and Finally:
5) Niggers* Hey buddy, we know how gangster you are, how bad ass you and your nine are and how you will get more pussy and more money than we ever will our whole goddamn lives, but, when I am shopping and walking down the isle, and you take it upon yourself to impede every step I take by leaving your cart with your 25 kids running around and your big-ass in the middle of the isle, I get pissed. Then you get all offended that I have an attitude with you? and I am racist now because I am white, and you had to deal with slavery shit and BLAH BLAH BLAH! Hey, wake the fuck up, slavery happened way before you, or even your grandfather, was born, so shove that lame-as-fuck excuse, and come up with a new one. Yes, there are indeed racists, but, not every white-devil is racist. Also, if you try to ask me something, and it’s in your useless “Gangster-Speak” or whatever it’s called, where you slur your words, speak in 1 syllables, and generally destroy the English Language, do not get offended when I chose to ignore you.
* The term Niggers is meant for the ignorant black people, I know there are good black people out there whom these guys are destroying the reputation of, by having the biggest mouth and the biggest attitude, I do not use the term Nigger for all black people and find it when it is used in that form to be racists, which I am not!
Thanks for reading my hatred on paper, tune in whenever the fuck I feel like it, for my next SAGE!
Flame on! or Off switch not included
June 8, 2008
This entry has been edited from the original MySpace bulletin
Seriously, guys, the chain mail spam that’s whoring all the space in my inbox is really fucking getting to me. So are the random flames. and the in-your-face attitude I seem to be getting from everyone and their bloody dog. The odd flaming irl or online I can take*, but this is just getting stupid.
To start, your chainmail: I like to think of it as hate mail, personally, but that’s just me. Maybe I’m just sensitive or whatever? It doesn’t really matter… According to you I’m a ‘fuck-up’ or however you choose to paraphrase it anyway.
Just to take a stab at that select few who make my inbox like the basement of hell on most days: NOBODY WANTS TO REPOST YOU’RE FREQUENTLY COLOUR-CODED AND — MORE OFTEN THAN NOT — HOLLOWLY-THREATENING TEENYBOPPER BULLSHIT APART FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE YOURSELF. That is to say, mainstream-culture molded, uptight… well… wankers. I’m sure you wouldn’t think twice about accusing me of being ‘gay’** or a ‘pedophile’*** before ‘coming out’ that you’re jumping on the bandwagon that is bisexualism.
Generally all it does is make people who are single look like shit. It’s a new level of low: emotional warfare, or, to coin a term at random, amorahostilism
You know who I mean if you’re reading this. We’ve had words before.
Harsh, harsh words.
I don’t need your analysation of my relationship status every. fucking. day. I see your game and I refuse to play it. What your purpose of doing so is, I have no idea.
I’m not going to ‘repost this as ..’ because I’m single / in a relationship / like someone but they don’t like you back.
I know, technically, it’s not an invasion of privacy, as I don’t actually have to reply, but still — you know I’m not interested, so why do you keep the bullshit coming? I’m not going to sink down to your level and give into your labelled conformist crock.
enjoy your Ring-influenced sheep culture on that matter
for those who refuse to reply to chain mail, I salute you.
If you took the time to read this through, but you’d rather be doing something else, then thanks for taking the time.
Do’svedanya, reader(s)
The Mighty Zeppellin
PS: oh, and yes: I’m back. I wouldn’t exactly say ‘better than ever’, but it’s close enough. Stay tuned
PPS: also, entry with the most footnotes to date!
* – [with a pinch of salt knowing that they're just petty jabs]
** – I find the use of the word ‘gay’ in derogatory ways offensive, personally. While I do not find the concept of being accused of being ‘gay’ offensive to me, personally, I find it misunderstanding to those who are.
*** – At this I can only say: “what the fuck were you thinking?” Congratulations, you’ve labelled me a pedophile and I’m a fourteen year-old virgin.



